Dreams of Mars

My sixteenth birthday is in eighteen days. Here’s a quick rundown.

20th?: 8AM-1AM. 28 Weeks Later with Kris.
22nd: Denny’s at 1AM with Ashley.
?: Party hosted by Rachel.

I’m excited!

Opheliac
[rant begin]
Basically, I bought Emilie Autumn’s Opheliac with my own money that I saved up for several months. I worked for that money. I’ve never really worked for anything in my life, and it was special. (Yeah, you could say i’m spoiled.)

Anyway… I got it in the mail today… it isn’t the deluxe limited edition I ordered.
Its just the regular jewelcase edition. And i’m fucking pissed, ’cause I thought I got the limited one, y’know?

So, I didn’t open it, I emailed them and explained everything. I’m getting a full refund and buying a different copy from Amazon. Problem is, its fifty bucks. Jen has issues buying fuckin’ CDs for fifty fuckin’ bucks.

Well, I guess if its the right one.. (And I hope to God it is.)
It just won’t be my earned money, in a sense. It seems trivial, but it was special to me.
[/rant end]

- – - – - – - – - – - -

Kris called last night, and it was amazing. (We made up, and I apologized by the way.)
Hell yeah! I missed that kid. (Well, he’s twenty-one now, so he’s not technically a kid. D: )
He said we’re going to see ATHF:MFFT at the Palace once he gets a car.
Rachel offered, and Ashley and I had plans to go see it. So basically i’ve got three people who wanna take me, and I wanna go with Ashley ’cause we made the plans first, and that’s the fair thing to do. But its really whoever I end up at the theater with.

Speaking of Ashley Darling!
I have decided that I love her more than ice cream, and popsicles, and the moon, and long driveways (like my own.) Heehee. I do hope I shall see her (and Sam!) at school tomorrow.
She’s cuter than teddybears.

I think.. I’m pretty much in love with Neopets.
But a lot less than I was at the beginning of last week.
Its just too repeative and competive.

Oh! And I must keep and eye for that P&T:B! episode! *reminds self*

Uhm… I got my hair done today. Its all shiny and straight. :DDD

Suddenly, I’m pretty sure I hate having long nails. They’re a bitch to take care of, and its hard to do anything with them. And even though they’re really strong, I freak out whenever I think they’re gonna break or chip. I get pretty annoyed if they chip, let alone when they break. Its really insane, and i’m starting to hate it.

LOL. I just tipped my ranch dressing cup over and screamed softly cause I thought it spilled on my bed. Ranch + Baby carrots = ♥

I’m still sickish, just a lot of coughing.
I got my Gramma sick though, but i’m sure she’ll be okay. ♥

I’mma go eat pudding. Out for now!

PS: I won’t be on messengers for the next couple of days. Back Tuesday or Thursday, maybe Friday, not sure. Call if you need me. Send an email with your number, and i’ll give you mine. (As long as I know you really well, of course.)

Well, admittedly, that last post was quite the downer.
I feel a bit better, actually. I dunno…

I feel like I got a lot of stuff out, stuff that I’d been keeping bottled up.
Some of it seems rather obvious, but…

I miss Kris, and I think about calling him, and apologizing.
But I don’t remember his number. I never memorized it.
I pushed him out when he needed me the most, and yet he was still able to yell at me for always closing him out when I was hurting.

I had the nerve to call him selfish and arrogant, but he was willing to put aside his pain for awhile and listen to me, and I wouldn’t let him.

Yet…
Call me crazy, but maybe I just don’t like being the 5th girl in your line-up, and feeling like a last resort.

Still, I pushed a really nice guy out of my life, and I won’t ever get him back.
Unless he decides to apologize, and calls me up randomly.

But her… I don’t miss her, at all. Too much fighting, too much drama.
She was blind to her own faults, but quick to criticize mine.
Everything was so.. black and white. I didn’t like it.

So dear journal, tell me, how many people have I pushed away?
There’s almost no-one left.

And soon, i’ll have to push him away, too.
I can’t keep lying.

Dammit Jen, get a fucking backbone.

I’m rather lonely, so i’m typing in here. lol

As you can see from the previous post, the fighting with Kris continued.
And now everything is over. I quit. He quit.
So not dealing with that whiny, clingy bullshit. I’m free!
FYI: Sweetie, don’t force yourself into a relationship with me. You can’t compare. ;)

So, uhm, anyway!
I’m watching some anime on Adult Swim.
Its really boring, and I think i’mma change to Poltergeist.. Once I find my remote.
Oooh. Found it. And yay! Its at the part where they’re asking for an investigation.
Haha. The guy was talking about how it took a toy seven hours to complete a short distance, and then bam! They open the door and paranormal activity overload!
Fuckin’ love it. lol

Speaking of movies, horror in particular…
THEY’RE REMAKING CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON!!!
I’ve loved it, the classic, since I was nine. Probably the whole “beautiful woman being kidnapped by physically ugly monster” thing. I’ve always been one for the girl to be kidnapped, or forced into an arranged marriage – sucessfully. I’m not quite sure why. It just seemed ..sexy.
…Psh, at least until it happens to me.

I’m not sure what else to write.
I’m really hungry.. Food hunt!

I intended to post in here this afternoon when Sean called to tell me that The Rock was making pancakes while wearing a dress and tiara, but it slipped my mind.

A lot of fighting with Kris has gone on, and in short, I can’t put up with much more.
I don’t understand, well, I do.. but..

I wanted to play City of Villains, but maybe when i’m feeling better.

I miss Jaime. A lot.

Sean has kept me company today.
Woohoo!