Dreams of Mars

- Change this nature of mine, and deal with my anger better.

- Eat less meat, adapt to a healthier diet.

- Rid myself of all hygiene products that aren’t vegan and cruelty-free.

- When someone recommends something, try it.

- Actively take steps to begin practicing Hellenic Reconstructionism.

- Everytime I think of him, I am to breathe deep and exhale, cleansing my mind of him.

- Let go of my bitterness for everyone, realize that people make mistakes, and no-one means to be a bad person.

- Have much, much more patience with this little blue bird who apparently really likes The Police.

- Spend more time with Chandler, take more pictures of her.

- Open myself up to this new love of mine, and accept whatever happens, happens.

I have nowhere to go… in the sense that there is no release for me now… DoM is down, so I’m a little lost. I’m listening to Amanda Palmer. I was listening to Bif Naked earlier, and will probably go back to that at some point.

After Awhile © Bif Naked

Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mum’s death, I am not sure how I am going to handle that, probably just treat it as another day, s’what I usually do.
Today is slow, rather tedious, I don’t like it.

I need to read my new Christopher Pike book, I abandoned V.C. Andrews a few days ago.

November was an awful month for me, because as I’d expected… I fell very, very hard for this man, and I don’t think he reciprocated.. Regardless, he leaves me with no feelings of guilt or regret, and even if I never speak to him again, these memories will always be held deep inside albeit painful they may be.. because this man I’ve adored for so long was there, and I touched him, and that was enough.

Thank God we can come to terms with that. This pain was unbearable… I wanted so badly to just be gone, but I can never lose that last shred of hope, and how tightly I cling to it. I relapsed that week, hard. I guess I better re-embrace that lifestyle, because it brings me some comfort, and how I did miss the sight of my own blood.