Dreams of Mars

Can’t do this.

I’m not looking for attention. I’m sick of keeping everything confined within a damned LJ for fear of being labeled emo. You fuckers and your comformist, popular label. Fuck you.

No. Everything’s just much too much. I thought i’d adore being sixteen, but everything seems so much scarier. I can’t cook, I can’t drive.

Yes, i’m intelligent. Yes, i’m pretty. but I want to be more. I want to make people happy. I want to fucking be something. I want to mean something.

I don’t want to drift away from people anymore. I want things to stay the same.
I don’t want to move, I want to stay here, in this house, forever.
I want to be a better person, less dependent, less paranoid, less passive.

I’m tired of life. I hate life.

I can’t do this. I can’t.
I’m trying. I’m trying so hard.
But the pieces aren’t there anymore, and its so hard to pull together without anything to hold it all.

I need your voice.

9:27 PM | 05/30/07
Life, Rants | ,
one comment

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY

Today is my partyyyyy. I’m excitedddd.

Thank you, Rachel. ♥

2:08 PM | 05/25/07
Life | ,
no comments

Sixteen

Today is my birthday!

12:42 PM | 05/22/07
Life |
no comments

Fresno transsexual wins prom crown.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 / 11:42 AM

Johnny Vera, a 6′ 4″ cheerleader with a compliment for everyone, is the overwhelming favorite of her classmates at Roosevelt High School.

Johnny Vera, a 6′ 4″ cheerleader whose late mother always told her, “To really be a lady you have to know how to walk into a room,” certainly worked it Saturday as she was crowned prom queen of Roosevelt High School in Fresno, Calif.

Vera, who also goes by “Crystal” and prefers female pronouns, but “isn’t too hung up” if people slip, was students’ favorite by a 5-1 margin, the school’s principal told the Fresno Bee.

“This person is amazing. He lights up everybody around him; he always has a genuine compliment for everyone,” career counselor Lupe Sosa told the Bee.

In her candidate speech, Vera told fellow students: “For me, it’s about more than a crown. It’s about saying to people, ‘Come out and be who you want to be.’ . . I am who I am, and I’m proud of who I am.

“My spirit will never be down on the floor.”

Nor is Vera the only transgender prom royalty in the heavily Latino agricultural city of 480,000. Cinthia “Tony” Covarrubias, across town at Fresno High School, last month campaigned for prom king in male persona after some initial reluctance from the school district. Covarrubias didn’t win, but he changed district policy to conform with state laws on gender expression, and Vera told reporters that his example inspired her to run.

Vera grew up in Santa Ana, Calif., but moved with her family to Fresno several years ago after her cherished mother died of complications of lupus.

“She taught me to be strong and never be ashamed of myself,” Vera told the Bee. “There were all those statistics about transgender kids committing suicide. People would look at me and say I was going to do drugs or be a prostitute.

“And I would just tell myself, ‘I’m not going to let anyone but me tell me what I’m going to be.’ ” (Barbara Wilcox, The Advocate)

http://www.planetout.com/news/article-print.html?2007/05/16/2

Sick Puppies – All The Same

I don’t mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don’t like illusions I can’t see
Them clearly

I don’t care, no I wouldn’t dare
To fix the twist in you
You’ve shown me eventually
What you’ll do

I don’t mind…
I don’t care…
As long as you’re here

Go ahead tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It’s all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden

And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don’t mind…
I don’t care…
As long as you’re here

Go ahead tell me you’ll leave again
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It’s always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It’s all the same

In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It’s all the same

Go ahead say it you’re leaving
You’ll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It’s all the same
And I’ll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It’s all the same

9:06 AM | 05/14/07
Lyrics |
no comments

HOLY COW!!!

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME TIM CURRY PLAYED IT/PENNYWISE IN IT?!!!?

WHY AM I JUST NOW LEARNING OF THIS?

OH MY GOD!!!

3:26 AM | 05/10/07
Life |
no comments

Quizzes #2

[ How Quirky Are You? & Hillbilly Name Generator ]

12:18 AM | 05/10/07
Quizzes |
no comments

Featured Wikipedia Article! – Campbell’s Soup Cans

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

More?

11:56 PM | 05/09/07
Miscellaneous | , ,
no comments

It was life.

“As Ray Porter watches Mirabelle walk away he feels a loss. How is it possible, he thinks, to miss a woman whom he kept at a distance so that when she was gone he would not miss her. Only then does he realize that wanting part of her and not all of her had hurt them both and how he cannot justify his actions except that… well… it was life. ”
-Narrator, Shopgirl

7:28 PM | 05/09/07
Quotes | ,
no comments

Fwee.

The Smashing Pumpkins are the best band ever. ♥

1:07 PM | 05/09/07
Miscellaneous | ,
no comments
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