Room By Room
Everything I’ve planned on for the past year or so just came crumbling down. And that’s cool, that’s fine, its what happens when I plan my life with someone.
Its not like he hasn’t crushed my heart a thousand times. And once, has he apologized. I realize I am much too bitter about the pain he has caused me, but I can’t let it go, because he never gives me the chance.
I have come to the conclusion that I’m autosexual or a romanticist with men, and everything with women.
I like that, I like it a lot. And I always knew it would come to this, I’ve always known myself to be gaygaygay.
And I regret every time I’ve been with a male, I really do. I am disgusted with myself for it, and I wish I could forget every experience I’ve ever had.
On the other hand, when I see a ‘pretty’ boy, I want to touch him, and hug him, and tell him sweet things, but I don’t want to kiss him on the mouth, or have sex with him… I just want to love him.
Why is life so complicated?